Treading Tuesday is a regular time for us to chat about the flotation devices that are getting us through. Learn more here.
Today’s Treading Tuesday was going to be about a big important life preserver that’s kept me afloat for the past year. Instead, it’s about playing the Sims, which is what I spent the past week doing instead of literally anything else I needed to do, including writing today’s newsletter.
The thing about the Sims is there are so many different ways to play. Do you play as a random avatar? Your aspirational self? Your favorite fictional characters? Your celebrity crushes? None of the above? And then there’s what exactly you spend your sim’s life doing. Do you chase dreams? Make money? Participate in weird challenges? Wreak havoc? You can be a straightforward player who wants their sims to thrive in life or you can be…well, unhinged or horny or chaotic or whatever you want.
I’ve played a lot of different ways over the years, but there were two common themes in my gameplay: I rarely ever played as myself and I almost always used a shit ton of cheats. But last week, when I picked the game up for the first time in a long time, I decided to try something new.
I had the world’s most boring itch to scratch: I wanted to make a little Sim Anna and I wanted to build her a happy life without cheating. I haven’t felt great lately, so I thought I’d get some small satisfaction from accomplishing all the things I currently feel too exhausted to do in real life. Simple but effective escapism, you know?
Instead? I discovered what a slog it is to play Sims without cheats, holy shit.
Don’t get me wrong, it was fulfilling for a while—Sims Anna is a dreamily efficient writer, for one, churning out novels and raking in royalties like Real Anna only dreams of. Not to mention how quickly she got buff and made people fall in love with her, wow.
But those things only happened when I could actually get her to write or work out or go outside, which was basically NEVER.
See, back when I used to play the Sims, I favored a little cheat that stopped your sim’s main needs—bladder, hunger, energy, fun, social, and hygiene—from decaying. Without cheats, staying on top of Sim Anna’s basic needs was a full-time job!!! Her energy was always depleting, she always needed to pee, and it always took her at least an hour to get from her bed to the kitchen just to feed herself. And don’t even get me started on how she was always too tired from work to WooHoo. Why do people play this way?? Don’t you get enough of this in real life???? At least I can go a few days without a shower without my life and mental health completely falling apart, Sim Anna.
Anyway, as for why it’s my floaty of the week: Despite all that, it was still really satisfying to see Sim Anna grow old and eventually die of natural causes (in her 1000000000th stove fire).
What about you? What’s been keeping you alive this week?
Btw, please feel free to go off-topic in the comments to share your own Sims stories and personalities. I’m CURIOUS.
As a quick reminder:
This is a safe space to talk about SI and no one should feel pressured to keep it ~positive~. For safety reasons, however, please try your best to stay on the topic of how you’re coping and avoid detailed descriptions of suicidal feelings.
When replying to others (encouraged!), refrain from giving advice or recommendations to others unless specifically asked for.
i have been very very depressed lately & my grandmother who i love love love is actively dying & the person i was seeing and starting to really like ghosted me & i am "sober" (ugh!?) & everything is awful! & the other night i as i was sobbing about knowing that this entire summer will be overwhelmed by having to navigate grief and feelings of loneliness, and i couldn't imagine anything feeling good ever again, i had a small vision of what it might feel like to be on the porch of a cabin in the woods, at dusk, with my dog, surrounded by fall foliage? and maybe that would feel ok? so anyway i booked a two week vacation for october for a cabin in the woods and submitted my time off request and now at least, even if i rot in my bed all summer long, i have a Thing to look forward to.
Desperately trying to ride the wave of SI that I'm in. I'm trying to hold space for those thoughts and also remind myself of all the actions I take to keep myself alive, like always wearing a N95 mask in public so I don't get sick. Or wearing my seat belt in my car. Not all the parts of me want to die. I just wish these waves weren't so intense.